I've decided to write the definitive manual to natural wine.
This is a confusing subject and a lot of readers, wine drinkers and assorted personalities have asked for guidance.
Please go to this link:
The Definitive Guide to The Natural Wine Movement.
This was originally posted on April 13, 2001. In those days, I didn't have cancer and we had a distributor in Maryland.
I'm writing this on the Metroliner returning from Baltimore to New York City. I have been in DC/Maryland/Virginia since Monday morning in an effort to promote Louis/Dressner Selections wines in this region. In the process, I have not only met a lot of Schnooks in the wine trade but have turned into a Schnook myself.
My Thursday's salesmanship highlight, was trying to convince two dead men who buy wine for an important retailer in Maryland to buy the Clos Roche Blanche Sauvignon Blanc. Despite the numerous amusing anecdotes I told the dead men about the vignerons, they rejected the wine on the grounds it was too acidic. But they greatly enjoyed the Corbieres Chateau la Baronne Rouge 1999 and immediately ordered a large quantity that will be case stacked at their important store. The dead is a market segment I want to learn more about in the future, as I see my firm has enormous growth possibilities with this important group. On the other hand, we are not doing well amongst the far more numerous Schnooks.
The two dead men did not qualify as being Schnooks as Schnooks are genuinely among the living. Addtionally, the two dead men tasted with glassware, whereas Schnooks always taste using plastic cups that they either have stolen from their Dentists or that they have bought in massive quantities from dental supply companies.
That's right. You, the average wine geek out there, are bombarded with endless literature about Riedel stemware and fret over which stemware is more appropriate for Burgundy and which stemware is more appropriate for your Flowers Chardonnay. Curiously, the DC/Maryland/Virginia market is flooded with Flowers Chardonnay, a winery that I always assumed is an internet invention. Kind of like Kay Bixler.
Anyhow, in reality the Schnooks who are deciding which wines you will be able to buy at your local retailer are making buying decisions by tasting wines in plastic cups. Here is how it works:
(1) The Schnook Salespeople from Schnook Distributors arrive at stores all across America with samples of wines from Schnook Importers (such as myself) or Schnook Domestic Wineries.
(2) The Schnook Retailer then humiliates the Schnook Distributor Salesperson over some late delivery or billing error for the first 15 minutes of the encounter. Since the Schnook Retailer is secure in the knowledge that the Schnook Distributor Salesperson needs his business (as the salespeople are working on commission) they take particular sadistic delight in making the salesperson feel sullied, stupid and humiliated. The veteran Schnook Distributor Salesperson learns to ignore this tirade and not take it personally. If the salesperson is a man and the retailer is a man, the skilled Schnook Salesperson allows the tirade to come to a halt and then tells a particularly salty dirty joke, usually involving oral sex, to make the Schnook Retailer laugh and feel a sense of camraderie with the Schnook Distributor Salesperson. They then proceed directly to important business deals.
(3) There are two variants to this stage. In the simpler variant the Schnook Retailer takes out his plastic cup and tastes all the wine samples the Schnook Salesperson has brought with him. The Schnook Salesperson tries desperately to bombard the Schnook Retailer with all the scores the wine in the plastic cup has received in The Wine Advocate, The Wine Spectator, The Wine Enthusiast, The Paul Roberts Wine Monthly, or any other periodical that has mentioned the wine and that can be turned into a shop talker. This is a very important point: the wine needs a good score somewhere, anywhere, because the Schnool Retailer does not have the time to do "hand-sells." The Schnook Retailer has a difficult job during this phase of the ritual, having to smell, taste and spit (already made more difficult by the wine being in a Dentist's plastic cup) while listening to the Schnook Salesperson's passioned narrative of 89 points, 90 points and 87 points for each wine.
A subvariant of this process in the Schnook Retailer having a Designated Taster, a kind of sub-Schnook, who tastes all the wines in a designated plastic cup and decides which wines merit being tasted by The Main Schnook. This is something I have never seen outside of the Washington, DC area.
Regardless of whether it is the Designated Schnook or the Main Schnook there are now two fascinating rituals to observe. Some Retailers use one plastic cup for whites and another plastic cup for reds. Some use different plastic cups for each wine. I suppose this is often a function of the tasting budget alloted by each store. Because often the Retail Schnook Buyer is but an employee working within the budgetary limitations of a Boss who doesn't even bother coming into the store. I did observe during this trip that our wines were much better received by the Schnooks who change cups with each wine. They tend to be much serious wine tasters.
After evaluating the wines through any of the above methods, the Retail Schnook then tells you which wines they will order. This is prefaced by an interrogation where the Retail Schnook demands to know the name of every retail store in the immediate area who carries the wine and what they are charging per bottle. The Retail Schnooks especially like wines that are not carried by their competitors: normally they mark-up the wine 50%, but if no competing Schnooks carry the wine they can add another $1.00 to the bottle price. In general, the Distributor Salesperson Schnook blatantly lies at this point and assures the retailer that non one else in the continental United States will carry the wine if they take 5 cases and make a floor stacking.
I am always shocked by the sheer squeals of delight by Retail Schnooks when they find out their 5 case purchase will be an American exclusivity. Since I work for a fringe company, the Retail Schnooks assume that no one carries my wine anyhow and sometimes mark it up $2.00 for a an additional $120.00 profit on their 5 case purchase! If I am present, working with the Schnook Salesperson, the Schnook Retailer then tells me how he loves working with insignificant companies like Louis/Dressner Selections because our wines are so badly distributed and obscure that he can make enormous and objectionable profits from carrying our "product."
What do we call this system? We in the wine and liquor trade call it "The Three-Tier System."
Of course, the entire market is not like this. There are fabulous retailers out there and great distributors with great salespeople. They truly do exist and eventually wine geeks figure out who they are and patronize them.
Despite being a schnook myself I have met many of these people. But even these people are obligated to carry Schnook wines along with the often excellent selections they sell. It's a schnook world out there and everyone needs a schnook cash flow to stay in business.
And don't forget that without the Three-Tier Schnook System there would be nobody to warehouse, truck and get out wine to retailers and restaurants outside of a handful of major wine markets.
Yes, the Schnooks perform many useful functions.
Had a wonderful meal last night at Liverpool House in St-Hénri. I've already been at Joe Beef two times and thought it would be interesting to try their other restaurant. We're staying in St-Henri, a neighborhood I love, and these two restaurants are strangely convenient.
David McMillan was an incredibly gracious host and the meal was delicious. I haven't had succulent steamers (from Prince Edward Island) in so many years and drinking a Gras Mouton 2008 from Marc Ollivier with the steamers was a great treat.
This was a sentimental match for me. I have been friends with Marc Ollivier for twenty years and seeing his wines in Montréal is very gratifying. My father Sam, who died 3 1/2 years ago, used to love eating Steamers and we would often go to Paddy's Clam House on 34th Street in the Garment Center to eat. Another lost New York institution.
I haven't thought about eating steamers at Paddys with my father in over 20 years. But isn't that what great food and wine is all about? Being transported elsewhere, bringing back memories and feeling blessed and spoiled. That's when I know food and wine are working, when they make me dream, hope and feel lost in time.
I'm trying to be reasonable so I had John Doré as my main course in a beurre blanc, with the asparagus (in high season) and with delicious morrels swimming in the sauce.
Liverpool House, along with Joe Beef next door, have great wine lists and I thought I should ignore all the French wines I love and drink Canada. We drank a Norman Hardie County Pinot Noir 2008 from Prince Edward County (home of my good friend Jeff Connell). The wine was very pretty to my taste, at 11.5% Alcohol (!!!) and went great with the John Dory.
I had some smoked cheddar at the end of the meal. Joe Beef and Liverpool House have their own smoker and smoke their meats and other dishes. Lovely cheese.
David gave us a tour of the herb and vegetable gardens he has around Joe Beef and the Liverpool House. This is really taking local farming to the next extreme -- growing your own in an urban setting and serving from your own garden.
I only wish there were more places like this in New York! It is just so expensive to run a restaurant in that town and difficult to do everything with a chef's vision. Too often you need a PR Firm's vision to make it work and pay the bills. Things are changing in Brooklyn and slowly in Manhattan -- it doesn't take much -- great fish, meat, vegetables and natural wines!
Thanks again to David for a great evening.
David grew up in St-Henri and talked to us about how it was astonishing for him to return to where he was a kid and open three restaurants along with his partner Frédéric Morin. He remembers running around the alleys behind the restaurants as a 7-year-old making trouble for all his neighbors. St-Henri was always a tough neighborhood and still keeps some of its edge. Everyone always talks about gentrification here, but it is going very, very slowly. The neighborhood keeps its character.
Tonight, we're off to Les Trois Petits Bouchons with Québecs great wine importer Jean-Phillippe Lefebvre and the mysterious Genevieve Boucher.
I'm supposed to do a wine tasting in 40 minutes at the Georges Vanier Metro stop but may cancel it until tomorrow. I'm still not dressed.
This is going to be a great event. I'll be doing a tasting at the Georges Vanier Metro station at 1 pm.
The talk will be about matching natural wines with your summer barbecue needs.
Be sure to be there!
The event is being sponsored Dépanneur Yo Yo at 3951 Rue Saint-Antoine Ouest.
I love bottle variation.
I change, the weather changes, the wine changes, my mood changes, my brain tumor acts up, I'm tired, I'm happy, I'm alert, I'm angry, the wine is having a bad day, I've eaten something that goes great with the wine, I've eaten something that destroys the wine, I'm with my wife and kids or I'm with some horrible blogger who makes definitive judgements about wine categories.
Who is against bottle variation. The Tea Party people!
I gallivanted around downtown Manhattan today and was shocked by the hordes of dudes wearing fedoras, T-Shirts and shorts.
Where the hell did they all come from?
Weren't they supposed to stay in Williamsburg?
They've crossed over the bridge and are moving uptown!
Don't they realize how boring and monotonous it all looks? I can't imagine anything so conventional and unhip.
Please buy new clothing.
Dard/Ribo Crozes-Hermitage 2008.
Amazing stuff!
A solid businessman who engenders confidence and admiration.
Instead, I'll do anything for a gag.
It turns out, this puts off the glum, the worried and the image conscious.
It's a minor miracle that Jean Manciat has stayed with us all these years.
Montréal is now the natural wine capital of North America. New York and San Francisco are but distant seconds. Montréal has more great food and wine than anywhere I know outside of Europe. It is that simple.
I want to retire there but Denyse thinks it is too cold.
Denyse and I will be there in the beginning of June. I will be giving a seminar at the Georges Vanier Metro station. We plan on eating the Plâteau du Plâteau at PDC, spending time with our lovely daughter Nancy and meeting friends.
Actually, I am raising money against cancer.
It always amuses me when people say they are raising money for cancer or some other disease. My parents used to go to fundraising events for Leukemia when I was a child. I used to ask myself: what sort of sadistic parents do I have who would raise money to spread Leukemia. My brother never got over the trauma of what turns out was a simple misunderstanding.
I'm starting a fundraising campaign for cancer victims like myself. Here is it how it works: you give money to Partners in Health to help Haitians in much more need than people like me in the richest country in the world seeing the best doctors money can find. This way, our struggle against cancer goes to help the needy, not the randomly ill.
Wealthy right-wing Republicans get cancer and they are going to continue to give loads of money for research and treatment. No one really cares about the Haitians.
So, let's get the cancer community -- the victims, families, friends and caregivers -- to rally around people who are truly fucked in every sense.
I was shocked and I wasn't the only one.
Hearty congratulations to Mark Firth, Andrew Tarlow and everyone associated with the Big Brooklyn Triumverate of Roman's, Diner and Marlow!
Jeremy Parzan one again won for wine journalism. He's a shoe-in next year as he and the noble Terlato clan will be fighting to put Greek wine on your table through social media.
Once again, Louis/Dressner won The Best Buffet at a Wine Industry Trade Event Award, even though Executive Chef Kevin McKenna did not supervise this year.
In other highlights, Danny Meyer won The Best Restaurant Service Award for the 17th consecutive year.
I'm too tired to say anything else.
Anyone who describes themselves as a somm at tomorrow's New York tasting will be immediately ejected from the event.
The word is sommelier.
CU Tomm
What did you expect?
Franck Peillot is on this flight.
What did you expect?
Franck Peillot is on this flight.
I just found out that Franck's flight from Washington, DC to San Francisco yesterday was grounded in Denver due to mechanical problems.
Franck and his sister rented a car and drove to San Francisco, arriving this morning!
They have found a flight out of Lyon to Casablanca and can then take a corresponding direct flight to New York!
They will be arriving on Wednesday night!
Mayor Joseph Alioto is giving him the key to the city at a ceremony today in San Francisco's Tenderloin District.
Franck Peillot is officially the hero of the 2010 Real Wine Attack!
A Long, Long Live to Franck Peillot!
You know the old song:
The Voice at the Core Leading Our Cause Forward
Is the Franck Peillot Wine from the Bugey
The Practical and Theoretical Thinking Guiding Our Vision
Is Real Wineist-Peillotism!
Be Resolute
Fear No Sacrifice
And Drive 1300 Kilometers to Get a Flight in Madrid!!!!
Franck Peillot will hopefully be in San Francisco on Tuesday.
Nothing could stop the man from coming to America. Franck jumped into action as soon as he heard the news of the Icelandic cloud, packed his bags and took off in his 2CV. The only airport having a seat for San Francisco was Madrid.
Madrid is far from Montaigieu in the Bugey but that didn't stop Franck.
Don't miss him at the San Francisco and New York tasting.
It was a festive night even though we were missing so many vignerons because of the Icelandic Cloud.
Last night's event was a convocation of the Seattle branch of the Chaine des Rotisseurs. The first order of the night was the induction of Arianna Occhipinti into this famous wine lover's group (Arianna is on the far left of the picture):
The next order of business was my being rewarded an honorary Bailli Honoraire du Pacifique Nord-Ouest by the Seattle's real Bailly, Cynthia Wong.
Altogether it was a wonderful evening that we will all remember for a very long time.
The Icelandic Volcano has made it impossible for 19 vignerons from France and Italy to come to our tastings next week.
Everything has changed. We are entering the new Icelandic Wine Reality.
Some helpful phrases:
Lítil Handlagni Fjölskylda Artisan Framleiðendur is Icelandic for Small Handcrafted Artisan Family Wine Producer
Sýrðar með frumbyggja náttúrulega ger is Icelandic for Fermented with indigenous natural yeasts
Nei rófa sykur, engin ensím meðferð og engin reacidification is Icelandic for No chaptalization, no enzyme treatment and no reacidification
Nei eða lægstur brennistein fyrir utan náttúrulega brennisteini framleidd af eldstöðvum is Icelandic for No or minimal sulfur except for natural sulfur produced by volcanoes
Nön spööfulated is Icelandic for Non spoofulated
That's right. We currently have 21 French and Italian Vignerons who can't get out of Europe to attend this coming week's tasting.
Some might make it by bribing aviation authorities, the wine is here and the tasting will go on.
Show your support for the Eyjafjallajokull 21 and attend all the events!
That's right. We currently have 21 French and Italian Vignerons who can't get out of Europe to attend this coming week's tasting.
Some might make it by bribing aviation authorities, the wine is here and the tasting will go on.
Show your support for the Eyjafjallajokull 21 and attend all the events!
The Real Wine Attack has been transformed to Vulcano Vini Veri tonight as 5 Italian winemakers arrived in Seattle.
Several Italians are stuck in Italy and a large group of French wine makers are hoping against hope to get here for our Monday tasting. Or to be in San Francisco for our Tuesday tasting. Or New York for our Thursday tasting.
The tastings will go on and Volcanic Ash be damned! Airports are blocked, vignerons are sleeping on airport floors all over Western Europe and we have no idea what will happen over the next few days.
Will Franck Peillot get here? Eric Texier? Marc Ollivier?
Marc Ollivier slept last night on the floor of the Clermont-Ferrand airport trying to get a flight to Milan to connect in Miami to a New York Connection for Seattle. Unfortunately, the Milan to Miami segment was cancelled.
Franck Peillot drove to the Montpellier Airport (since Lyon was closed) to get a flight to Madrid, then Dallas Ft-Worth and finally Houston. He missed the Montpellier flight by 15 minutes on account of a tractor-trailer accident near Nimes which delayed traffic.
Eric Texier drove off on Thursday morning and his wife, parents and children have no idea where he might be.
The worst case scenario is that we will hire actors and I will alternate between dressing up as François Pinon and then dressing up as Thierry Puzelat.
But the tasting will go on! No volcanic ash can stop this movement!
Remember what Jules Chauvet said:
Il n'y a pas d'affaires comme les vins nature-business comme aucun d'affaires que je sais
Tout y est attrayante, tout ce qui permettra la circulation
Nulle part vous ce sentiment heureux quand vous volez que l'arc supplémentaire
Il n'y a pas des gens comme de montrer aux vignerons, ils sourient quand ils sont faibles
Même avec une cuvée raté que vous savez fois, vous pouvez être bloqués dans le froid
Mais vous n'auriez pas le changer pour un sac d'or, nous allons continuer avec le Real Wine Show!
We hope.
Apparently, the eruption is spreading sulfurous gases throughout the atmosphere.
In a related story, don't miss the upcoming German and Austrian wine tasting events around New York City this weekend.
The Real Attack is nearly on!
There is the hyper-secretive trade tasting. You have to ask your Farm Wine Rep for an invite. You can meet K. Mckenna, D. Louis and J. Dressner at this once in a lifetime event.
But that night there will be a bunch of special events:
Terroir, 6-9pm,
no rsvp required, wines by the glass or bottle. The growers will mill about and tell entertaining stories.
Francesca Padovani
Silvio Messana
Luca Roagna
François Pinon
Thierry Puzelat
Pierrot Bonhomme
Franck Peillot
Eric Texier
Barbacco, 6-9pm
Half of the restaurant is held for walk-ins. Each grower will have one wine by the taste, glass, quartino or bottle, with other wines available by the bottle. Have dinner, a small plate, or just a glass of wine. This will be informal, with ample opportunity to talk to the growers and hear their entertaining stories.
Arianna Occhipinti
Alessandra Bera
Francesco Maule
Mauro Vergano
Sasha Radikon
Chez Panisse
Will serve a Muscadet and Beaujolais menu downstairs, with these growers' wines by the glass or bottle. The growers have a table at 6:00 but they won't circulate like at Terroir and Barbacco so there will be less opportunity to chat. This event is more the wine and food than meeting the growers. You'll only get snippets of entertaining stories here.
Marc Ollivier
Jean-Paul Brun
Damien Coquelet
Georges Descombes
Sometimes, even I get tired of reading Dr. Vino's web site.
Lately, I've been reading Steve Tanzer's new site Winophilia.
Great reading and lots of contributions from Josh Raynolds, America's leading Muscadet critic.
OK, I'm not that excited by the Gaja video interview, but there is lots of valuable information here.
Wednesday, 4/21 at Five Points: Alice and Olivier De Moor of Chablis!
Friday, 4/23 at the General Greene in Fort Greene: Francois Chidaine of Vouvray and Matthieu Baudry of Chinon!
Some of the greatest winemakers in France will be in town next week. On Wednesday, Alice and Olivier De Moor will be at Five Points on Great Jones Street. They're making the most distinctive natural wines in Chablis, not to mention Aligoté, Sauvignon and Bourgogne Chitry.
On Friday, Francois and Manuela Chidaine from Vouvray and Montlouis, and Matthieu Baudry from Chinon will be at the wonderful General Greene restaurant in Brooklyn. These two producers are the acknowledged leaders in their appellations - it's a great thrill to have them at one dinner!
7:00pm start time for both events.
Wednesday, April 21st, 7:00pm with Alice and Olivier De Moor (Chablis) at Five Points Restaurant, 31 Great Jones St. between Lafayette and Bowery. Four courses, 5 - 6 wines, $110 inclusive of tax and gratuity. 25 Seats
Friday, April 23rd, 7:00pm with Francois and Manuela Chidaine (Vouvray/Montlouis) and Matthieu Baudry (Chinon) at The General Greene, 229 DeKalb Ave, Fort Greene (B,M,Q,R to Dekalb Ave). 4 courses, 6 wines, plus foodstuff samples from the General Greene Grocery, $90 inclusive of tax and gratuity. 30 seats.
For Reservations call Chambers Street Wines 212-227-1434 or email office@chambersstwines.com
Patrick Cappiello was able to fine tune each bottle. The wines that needed decanting got decanting, the wines that needed to be opened immediately were open immediately, everything was at the right temperature, there were labels on each glass with the name of the wine and almost everything tasted well.
The Dard & Ribo St-Joseph was decanted extensively and never showed as well. What a treat.
Some poor saps believe that a Sommelier is a delivery boy with a bottle key. Tonight, Patrick was like a conductor orchestrating 15 bottles, all in tune, harmony and beat. It was a great thing to watch, drink and enjoy.
Everyone greatly enjoyed the meal, the service and the wines. This is a fabulous wine destination and restaurant and tell them that Captain Tumor Man sent you.
The other amazing thing I learned was not to trust a Jewish Acupuncturist. I am seeing a Jewish Acupuncturist for the first time tomorrow, in the desperate hope that they can help my bum cancerfied leg. But according to Alice Feiring, my informant at tonight's dinner, a Jewish Acupuncurist is just a frustrated failed doctor whose mother has hounded him for not going to medical school. According to Ms. Feiring, everytime they put a pin into you, the Jewish Acupuncturist is actually driving the pin into their mother's heart to exact revenge.
I hope this is not true!