An Open Letter to the Captain Tumor Man Community

There have been a lot of ugly rumors around the blogosphere implying that I am trading wines for preferable treatment at cancer centers. One blogger even went to far as to suggest that I traded a case of Philippe Pacalet's sensational Charmes-Chambertin 2005 to a prominent neurologist to get better treatment. Another blogger wrote that I offered to fly a medical practitioner to the Paulée in Meursault if he put me on a special trial treatment.

There have also been rumors that I have been laying off Dr. Barbara Hirsch and Dr. Ira Dressner in an attempt to curry favor with the medical community.

Let me assure everyone here, that Captain Tumor Man continues the same high ethical standards that I have always practiced since being diagnosed with brain cancer in November.

These so-called "bloggers" enjoy stirring the pot but no one has yet to find a "smoking gun." Let them get brain cancer and I assure you we'll see no lack of oncology junkets and payoffs.

I don't know what the agenda is of these people attacking my cancer ethics but I assure you their tactics will not stop me from embracing my brain tumor while I continue to pay my Oxford Insurance $20.00 deductible and hang around the waiting room like all the other patients. Whether they be wine importers or retired tailors.

This is my pledge to you, dear readers.

Joe Dressner

- Joe Dressner 5-31-2009 9:42pm

The only time

I ever thought about smoking a gun, something kept blowing holes in the idea, and I stopped even thinking about it. Modern medicine is almost too much!

posted by Steve Edmunds 5-31-2009 10:49pm

Barter?

Trade wines for health?

I have traded wine for good kitchen knives. I have traded wine for graphics help. I have traded wine for art.

But I have yet to figure out how to trade wine for shorter waits with my docs. And my co-pay is $30.

posted by Charlie Olken 6-1-2009 3:04am

i traded wine for art too in the late 80's early 90's

the wine ended up being worth more in the long run in some cases but not all

my deductable is $50

posted by real wino 6-1-2009 4:54am

diet coke

when i came to your office as part of my investigation you gave me a free diet coke!

posted by the sheriff 6-1-2009 12:00pm

magic thoughts

copay: $40
gift to oncologist: The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
return: script for vicodin, albeit not recommended taken with my nightly glass (or two) of wine.

posted by Marian C 6-1-2009 1:09pm

If you can get better treatment by giving wine, do it.

posted by TWG 6-3-2009 9:30pm

people have health insurance?

posted by putnam 6-7-2009 11:08am

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Joe Dressner - Captain Tumor Man!

Hi, I'm Joe Dressner the famous wine importer and I have brain cancer!

I already have a wine blog and frankly wine is such a luxury business that I hate to mix my cancer problems with my wine observations. I think it would be a general downer for the lifestyle crowd out there.

Furthermore, we in the wine trade always claim there are tremendous health benefits to drinking wine. I've already had cardiovascular bypass surgery over eight years ago and now I got a tumor aggressively rattling in my brain. My colleagues in the glamorous wine industry want me to keep it quiet.

So, I've started this wonderful new blog to discuss wine, brain tumors, my life and to give you hot tips on handling the cancer stricken around you. There will also be practical wine/radiation pairings when I start radiation therapy and chemotherapy next week.

Having brain cancer means I might both physically and intellectually decline. So, I will be using this blog as a venue to pursue petty vendettas against relatives, acquaintances and people in the wine trade.

I might also lose touch with reality and say things that are not true or are only half true. The important thing is to have fun and enjoy this rare and precious time in my life.

One of my pet vendettas is my cousin Dr. Barbara Hirsch. Dr. Barbara Hirsch is a very important Great Neck Endocrinologist, who was raised and nurtured by my parents. Dr. Hirsch waited until my father was near death and my mother was suffering from a rare neuromuscular disorder, to write them a seven page letter denouncing them for being horrible to her for the entirety of her life! Despite my concerns, Dr. Hirsch still refuses to apologize.

Last night, I drank a beautiful bottle of Bourgueil Clos Sénéchal 2005 from Pierre Breton. It was sublime and reminded me that I used to be healthy. Not only that, the vineyard used to be there before I existed. It exists independently of my having cancer and will continue to exist. You ought to buy some.

August 2009 Postscript: Not only does it exist independently of my cancer, it also exists independently of Louis/Dressner Selections. After 18 years, they have dumped us for Kermit Lynch. Oh well. At least I'm alive!

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