Denyse Louis, Mrs. Captain Tumor Man, is about to arrive at the airport in Paris and then fly to Verona.
Wednesday is her birthday.
Happy Birthday Denyse!
All my love!
Mr. and Mrs. Captain Tumor Man will be celebrating 25 years of marriage soon by renewing our vows in early May.
Please send donations to the Wine Connections Rice and Vine Foundation in our names.
I am now on a reduced level of convulsion medication, but still feel very week on my feet. I'm a guy with no sense of balance.
Tomorrow, I see my oncologist and get another five pack of Chemotherapy. I'll take them through the weekend and then go on another 23 days of nonChemotherapy.
On Thursday, my mother will have a biopsy for kidney vasculitis.
Denyse, Kevin and Lee are all in Italy.
My son Jules, who was recently featured on Lyle Fass' excellent blog, is staying home with me.
Buster is around.
Help!
I've been out of things since I had a major seizure on November 10th and subsequently discovered I have cancer.
So I'm only first catching up on the Madoff story and find myself astonished that the Wine Industry has not drawn any lessons from two decades of speculation based on Parker/Wine Spectation scoring and notations. We've all allowed ourselves to be sucked into the same Ponzi scheme which has been running this country over the past 20 years and no one seems to want to call a stop to his insanity.
All of a sudden there are stocks of wines that are absolutely unsaleable because they were bought on a Ponzi Promise of points, easy money and quick sales. Madoff was not the exception, he was the norm.
Madoff got customers by appearing influential and important. We sell a lot of wines because they gets big scores somewhere making the purchase of that wine seem legitimate and important to everyone in the wine industry.
What nonsense! Why call them Parker Points, why not just call them Ponzi Points, even if that was not the intent of Mr. Parker. Functionally, that is what this style of wine marketing has become.
Our country has been trading worthless paper against worthless paper ever since the Ronald Reagan administration. The popular anticipation was that everyone could be rich, everyone could buy a home, everyone could send their kids to insanely expensive colleges if you just had the right piece of paper acquired from the right consultant. All this has collapsed into one horrible mess that threatens great human suffering throughout the world.
It was pure and simple greed which drove this country to tank out. Around this time, the wine industry became converted into yet another commodity based on points, scores and commodity exchange and speculation.
To look around the wine landscape is profoundly depressing -- you see people continuing to sell highly scored labels for millions of dollars. Labels that have no land, no value, no meaning. People who come out of nowhere to make wine that comes out of no place and tastes like nothing continue to ride a trend of money making with the same old worn out points on paper certifying their bottles can be taken directly to the bank.
This is not going to last. At Louis/Dressner, at Kermit Lynch, at Peter Weygandt, at Neal Rosenthal, at Jenny & François we offer wines that have never heard of Bernie Madoff. Some of the best regional importer/distributors (Polaner, Bowler, Chadderdon, Beaune Imports, Triage, Farm Wine Imports, to name a few) also specialize in real/natural wines that express history, pride, love, work and a future based on something real. The fruit of the earth.
It is a turning point for the wine trade. Lets bail out of the old style of riding some cynical consumer fad (Where have all the critters gone) based on Parker or some other fad and proudly sell the beauty of that rare intersection of time and place that only the vine can express. Madoff is in jail....let him rot and let us learn the lessons.
Yes, there are only a small amount of wines made this way, but there still remains plenty to sell, drink and enjoy. Lets not confuse all forms of fermented grapes as being in the same family.
It is time to draw some limits!
I'm fascinated by the Vine Connection people I met at the Polaner Tasting. For some inexplicable reason, they combine Argentine Wine and Sake. Why not call it the Vine and Rice Connection?
I'm totally confused about this company but they seem wildly successful. Great reviews, lots of attractive young people, wine industry excitement and partnering with such innovative wine/sake companies as Youngs Market.
I was just looking through their web site and came across the first producer listed and realized why they have so much success. Their producers are super qualified. No country bumpkins need apply.
Take the Ben Marco brand, for instance. According to the Vine Connection web site:
Owner/viticulturist Pedro Marchevsky has degrees in Agriculture & Enology and Agricultural Engineering, and is a Professor of Irrigation and Drainage at the Universidad Nacional de Cuyo. He has managed vineyards in Mendoza for almost 30 years as well as his own vineyard in the district of Los Campamentos in eastern Mendoza, and he is widely considered the top viticulturist in Argentina. His philosophy is a simple one gained from experience: using grapes farmed using
"precision viticulture", make wines that are true to their place. His wines express the wonderful, powerful fruit flavors, the ripe tannins, the incredible length and balance that can only come from this one place—Mendoza.
As far as I know, we don't work with viticulturists, let alone one who specializes in "precision viticulture." Why do you need a Professor of Irrigation and Drainage (I never knew this was an academic field!} to make wines that are "true to their place."
This is Madoffesque talk.
Thinking about Bernie Madoff invariably makes you think about the imbeciles who invested with him. In many ways, Madoff brings to the mind the old adage about Adolph Eichman, the banality of evil. As someone who also grew up in Queens, New York, let me assure there were no lack of contenders but very few winners.
Madoff's particular genius seems to have been to trade into the same popular sentiment that makes people imagine they are living out a Shalom Alechem folk story when they drive their BMWs to the synagogue on Saturdays.
I came across an insightful article in Vanity Fair on the Madoff phenomena. They author, Marie Brenner, writes:
Great con men always understand the vulnerabilities of their victims. Madoff's clients trusted the fact that he invested money not only for such important Jewish institutions as Hadassah but also for his closest friends. "If you had asked me, 'Do you want to invest with the guy who makes the money for Yeshiva University and Steven Spielberg's foundation,' would I have signed up in a heartbeat?" a friend of mine said. "You bet I would." Madoff's history as a scrappy, rags-to-riches success struck so deeply into the psyche of many of his Jewish victims that they put aside their common sense for him. No computer access to an account? No chance to ask a question about due diligence? Oh, fine. Someone close to one hedge-fund manager who lost a billion dollars believed that Madoff had reminded his friend of his father. "Shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations," many of his investors had been told as children. The essence of Madoff's genius was his ability to invoke the romance of grandparents and great-grandparents coming to America and making good. Madoff tapped into his clients' innocence and their grandiosity. A not inconsiderable part of his victim pool came from a group who thought of money with a complex tangle of shame and attraction, as if they believed that understanding money would drag them back into the stereotyping of their immigrant roots.
We'll be in Los Angeles and San Francisco and maybe Fresno in April.
The full schedule will be coming out soon. Participants include:
Christine and Eric Nicolas - Domaine Bellivière - Jasnières and Coteaux du Loir
Catherine and Claude Maréchal - Bligny lès Beaune
Jean-Paul Brun - Terres Dorées - Beaujolais
Franck Peillot - Bugey
Pierre Luneau - Luneau-Papin - Muscadet
Eric Texier - Rhone
Mauro Vergano - Chinati
François Pinon - Vouvray
Christian Chaussard - Domaine Briseau - Touraine
Brad Kane -- Arbois
Alessandra Bera - Vittorio Bera - Asti
Arianna Occhipinti - Sicily
Silvio Messana - Montesecondo - Chianti Classico
Cristiano Guttarolo - Puglia
Francesca Padovani - Campi di Fonterenza - Montalcino
Claude-Emmanuelle Desvignes - Morgon
My mother has some unforseen complications and will undergo more medical testing.
She wants to see Dr. Hirch, the famous Great Neck Endocrinologist, and is suffering over Dr. Hirsch's boycott of my mother.
Isn't this the time for Dr. Hirsch to apologize publicly for the way she has treated my dead father and my ailing mother.
As a public service, I would gladly print Dr. Hirsch's apologize in this space and then cease making fun of her. Optionally, I would read the apology and not print it here.
I'd like to move from Dr. Hirsch to making fun of Bernie Madoff, idiots who invested in Bernie Madoff, people in the Wine Industry who act like Bernie Madoff, and a lengthy analysis of what sort of sick society let the Bernie Madoffs of the world take charge of our economy.
I'd also like my mother to get better or at least not feel so lonely.
Try to understand, dear Cousin Barbara -- My mother is the last of five children, she's 88-years-old, her husband (your Uncle Sam) died, my brother is busy shaking chakras in Las Vegas, my mother's lifelong friends are gone and there is so little time less. I know cardiology is not your specialty, but do you have no heart?
Why can't you swallow your pride and make a simple apology for acting so disrespectful of your Aunt and Uncle who did so much for you for 50 years?
Daniel S. Duick, MD, FACP, FACE and the President of the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists would be proud of you.
So would I.
None. As far as I can tell.
The Vine Connection specializes in high scoring Argentine wines and high scoring Sake. They are also going into high scoring Californian wines.
This dynamic company has been quick to jump on the burgeoning Argentine/Sake market. I'm such a lousy businessman, I just don't see the connection!
How long will it take Vine Connections to jump on the endocrinology bandwagon? What better way to capture this market than partnering with my cousin Dr. Barbara Hirsch?
It would be a project.
According to Jay Miller:
While it's way too soon to put K Vintners on the same level as a Domaine Leroy or Domaine Zind-Humbrecht, the experience you get tasting in the cellar is much the same as in those legendary wineries, brilliantly made wines reflecting the terroir but also a winemaking signature that makes it totally clear which winery made the wine.
I have to agree with Dr. Miller. I have tasted the K Vintners wines three times and each time it has been "totally clear which winery made the wine."
A friend in Walla Walla wrote me that Mr. Smith's hair is totally natural and grows without the aid or intervention of a hair stylist.
My sincere apologies.
The next round of Charles Smith Wines "BOOM BOOM! SYRAH" is on me!
This wine is deep purple, complex, rich and explosive. Think blackberry, violets, lavender and earth. So smooth. THIS WINE ROCKS!
Many people came. Perhaps 700 people.
There were lots of producers there and a lot of people in the wine industry.
I was feeling weak on my feet and almost felt like a spectator at the event. So, I got to observe some of the more interesting people in the wine industry. One of them specializes in sake and Argentine wine. This is certainly a novel idea which corresponds to a deep market need.
I asked one of this company's producers how they started off the fermentations. She told me they innoculate. I asked which yeasts they use and she told me that she'd have to ask the oenologist, who wasn't there. A lot of people say there is a quality revolution going on in Argentina. I think that's great!
Many of the people showing wines at the Polaner tasting change their labels frequently, because they are constantly selling their labels to big companies for millions of dollar. It was Bernie Madoff or Randall Graham who started this trend. I can't remember which one.
One of my favorites of this genre is Charles Smith of Charles Smith.
He sold one of his labels recently for millions and millions of dollars. His wines rock and get great points in Robert Parker's magazine. My son, who poured wines at the tasting, kept calling Smith "Sideshow Bob" and didn't realize that Smith is one of the titans of the wine industry. Here are some of the points Charles Smith gets:
2005 Charles Smith Wines "Old Bones" Syrah -- 99 points
2005 Charles Smith Wines "The Skull" Syrah - 98 points
2005 Charles Smith Wines "Heart" Syrah -- 97 points
2003 K Vintners "The Pheasant" Syrah -- 97 points
2005 K Vintners "The Creator" -- 96 points
2005 K Vintners Syrah "The Beautiful" -- 95 points
2005 K Vintners Syrah Wells Vineyard -- 95 points
2005 K Vintners "El Jefe" en Chamberlin Vineyard -- 94 points
2005 K Vintners "Ovide" en Cerise Vineyard -- 94 points
Etc, etc, etc, etc -- lots of points
I've tasted the wines three times and they're not my cup of Romorantin. I think it is great people like this stuff and I find the rumors that the Obama Administration is investigating the multi-million dollar Charles Smith label sale to be alarming. What makes America a great country is that Charles Smith can see a hair stylist, get a great graphic artist make some spoof and become a wealthy man. I hope President Obama is not trying to turn our great nation into a Scandinavian country where no one can afford a hair stylist. In fact, they're even stopping production of the Saab in Sweden, although Smith has nothing to do wtih that abominable situation!
I'm a simple guy. It was a great pleasure for me to spend a week with our vignerons who actually work their land, who don't sell their labels for millions of dollars and who make something delicious. Even if they all kept losing their passports and wallets while getting drunk every night.
They are not trafficking in derivatives, leveraged debt, trading schemes, label frauds or modern day moneymaking. They want to sell their production and need to sell their production, but they never forget that they are selling something from the earth, something that was there before them and which will be there after them.
They are selling wine with a history, continuity and future beyond their lifetimes, because it is real and not a Madoffian scheme. They are not selling market share and market schemes. Polaner has a very good book and many of the producers at the tasting work in the same spirit and it is great to see them all there and to marvel at all these wine producers who don't use hair stylists to Madoffize their production. It was also a great pleasure to see my friends at Polaner like Doug Polaner, Tina Fisher, Mike Wheeler, Linus Kessler, Kathleen Murdock and Mark Coleman.
Someone asked me if I still enjoy the wine industry after all these years, after getting cancer, after all the treachery at the hands of my brother and Dr. Barbara Hirsch, the famous Great Neck Endocrinolist.
I hate the wine industry and always have. Despite all the love from the New Jersey salespeople who love selling Les Heritiques, Girard Sancerre, Pépière and one other wine they couldn't remember, I can't stop myself from biting the hand which feeds me. Its horribly rude, ungrateful and impolite. I'm one sick cancerous guy!
What I have always loved is great wine and the people who bring the vines into the bottle. And I still love the people in the trade who love wine and the consumers who can't get enough real wine. Happily, we're a growing trend.
Fuck the Hair Stylist/Malbec-Sake/Madoff Label Sellers of the Wine World!
I've heard that she will be attending to show her new line of Super Tuscan wines!
I've also heard that Mr. Dr. Hirsch will be conducting Italian cooking classes!
Don't miss these exciting events!
It has become fashionable to knock Chardonnay because there is so much horrible Chardonnay in the market. Chardonnay is easy to grow, popular and guaranteed to make a buck.
The last few days I have been marveling about how delicious the Chablis from Alice and Olivier de Moor in Courgis are and last night I drank some Domaine de Roally Viré-Clessé.
Yes, these are Chardonnay, but the grape variety is transparent. Why bother, why guess, why obsess. Who cares if it is 100% Chardonnay or 90% Chardonnay.
These are wines that transport you because the Chardonnay is almost a neutral agent which brings the earth, air and vines to life. And life is something that is very enjoyable for a cancer patient.
According to his blog:
For the past two years I have been calling myself a Spiritual Coach. Previously I have been a life coach or a personal coach.
After the weekend brain storming session with my coach Suzanne Evans, I am now calling myself an energy coach. And I have developed and ideal blue print blueprint that can definitely assist people in making more money and getting the lifestyle they want.
I will be launching that website/blog shortly and wil tell you about it later.
Nothing beats Petty Larceny Bernie Madoffism!
At least Bernie can spell.
But I'm going to go anyhow.
I have bad balance and have trouble standing these days. I certainly won't be able to serve wine.
Like most cancer patients, I'm a loser!
The Polaners like to project a dynamic, healthy image. Who doesn't?
Maybe I'll spare them my presence.
Then again, people always find the presence of bald cancer patients to be inspiring. Something about survivors.
I'm in their prayers and thoughts, after all.
Anybody out there reading with a kindle?
You have to be in the wine trade, you have to know how to shake the chakras, and your endocrinological system needs to be in good order.
If so, please attend and meet our many vignerons and taste their wines. I will be collapsing in a back staircase. Look for the bald guy who resembles Kojak.
My mother is still in the hospital but has taken up residence at NYU's prestigious rehabilitation center.
My brother is somewhere in the deep south training people to shake their chakras.
My cousin, Dr. Barbara Hirsch, drove to the hospital today but only her husband went upstairs to visit my mother. Dr. Barbara Hirsch, I suppose, was worried she might run into me and stayed outside the hospital in her luxury BMW rather than see me. By the way, the BMW was made by slave Jewish labor, but Dr. Hirsch doesn't seem to mind.
My mother was having trouble with her mobile phone today and I spent three hours talking to T-Mobile to fix her problems.
Frankly, I don't know who they were and where they came from!
I don't know how it happened, but I've become Telly Savalas!
Don't miss the big todo at Chambers Street Wines tomorrow.
Bono and 14 vignerons will be there from 4 pm to 8 pm.
Its going to be great.
A lovely woman made them for me in the hopes it would lessen my cancer suffering.
Despite her compassion, it did not work out well for me. I took a train from Seattle to Portland and was convinced that the two drunken Jim Bean salesman sitting near us were planning worldwide domination and a terrorist attack that would wipe out greater metropolitan Portland.
I've seen lots of new and old friends in Seattle and Portland and it has been a great time. The only problem is that I can no longer walk, speak in riddles that I don't understand, have nightmares about Eddie Bracken and am facing another five days of frantic activity.
Robert Plant, the popular singer, came to today's tasting.
Or maybe he didn't
I decided to shave my head bald.
My Chemohead was a sickly and shameful site and I decided to embrace my baldness in all its glory.
Who knew, but the barber shop I went to does not have a license to shave your head with a blade. Turns out only two barbers in Seattle have state licensing to shave your head with a blade. So, I left feeling all sorts of creepy fuzz on my head because all these used on me was eletric razors.
I went to a Bartells (a local Duane Reade) and bought a special head shaver device. I could not figure how to put it together and returned it to the drug store. Finally I shaved with my normal fusion cartridge which is now totally clogged up with the little hairs from my bald scalp.
I laid down and went into a right side convulsion. I took Ativan and later somee Keppra. I'm one sedated bald dude.
I got up to go the bathroom and my right leg collapsed, with me falling to the floor in slow motion and not really hurting myself.
I got up and the seizure slowly came to an end.
We're having a great time here in Seattle. Everyone at our wholesaler was too busy with the visiting Monika Caha and other exciting new projects (Like Lars' Mosel Wines) to pay me any mind as I convulsed away.
The hotel television has a full range of public service shows that we will enjoying for the rest of the evening.
Denyse and I took a flight to Seattle last night. The plane was almost delayed because someone could not turn off their Iphone. The Flight Attendants made a general announcement for an Iphone expert, but nobody could turn it off.
Finally, the Iphone was confiscated and will be mailed to the woman on the flight, who was outraged. I never understood why she alerted the flight personnel that her Iphone was not turning off and didn't just hide it in her bag.
Someone was farting uncontrollably during the flight. Denyse had to put a blanket over her face but there was nothing to do, particularly since airplanes recirculate air. The flight attendants did not make an announcement for a Farting Expert and the ride was a difficult one.
There was a guy on the plane who was the spitting image of my cousin Bernie Shaefer from Ashtabula, Ohio. But he was someone else.
I watched some movie about a kid who wins lots of Rupees on a television show. I didn't enjoy the movie at all and don't understand why it has won so many awards.
The fabulous Joanne Herron picked us up at the airport. We will be eating at her home tonight with an all-star cast of the Seattle Restaurant and Wine Scene.
I slept 12 hours and am still tired. I'm looking forward to the possibility of having my anti-seizure medication reduced after I take some texts in 10 days in New York.
I spoke with my mother's doctors and she is breathing far better. She is still fatigued, but the steroids she has been taking have been very good for her lungs.
From Great Neck to Seattle, Real Wine Week is starting.
I'm leaving today for Seattle and will be joining about 15 vignerons in a tour of Seattle, Portland and New York. There will be a large range of professional and public tastings.
My son, my friend Donna and my mother's aid will be in constant touch with me regarding my mother's health. If need be, I will fly back early.
Hopefully, despite my weakened personal condition, I will be able to do something on this trip other than sleep and be sick.
There has been extensive coverage in the French press on this ground-breaking event. Quoted from Le Monde:
Mercredi, 18 mars
Professionnels Francophones Seulement
12h – 17h Dégustation de Triage Wines
The Sorting Table
85 South Atlantic Street
Seattle, Washington
Avec:
Marc Ollivier
JP Brun
Matthieu Baudry
Evelyne de Jessey
Alain Coudert
Eric & Christine Nicolas
Pierre Breton
et beaucoup des surprises!
Jeudi, 19 mars - Portland, Oregon
Professionnels Francophones Seulement
12h-17h Dégustation de Triage Wines (Portland)
Davis Street Tavern
500 Davis Street
Portland, Oregon
Avec:
Même vignerons et encore plus des surprises!
Degustation Ouverte Aux Geeks de Portland et Tout le Monde
18h30-20h
E & R Wine Shop
6141 SW Macadam Avenue #104
Portland, Oregon
Tél : 503-246-6101
Samedi, 21 mars 16h-19h
Dégustation de Chambers Street Wines Ouverte
160 Chambers Street
New York, NY 10007
Tél: 212-227-1434
Avec:
Catherine & Claude Maréchal
Suzanne Pinon
Grégoire Hubau
Marc Ollivier
JP Brun
Brad Kane
Matthieu Baudry
Evelyne de Jessey
Alain Coudert
Eric & Christine Nicolas
Pierre Breton
Mardi, 24 mars
11h00 – 17h Dégustation Polaner
Professionnels Francophones Seulement
Avec:
Seulement Brad Kane
I always thought my brother's thing was stress release.
I haven't been keeping up with his web sites though. Ira, who refuses to help me with the care of his mother, has moved on from stress release to Brain Energy Integration.
Its sad, because Ira sets up fake therapeutic solutions as quickly as Bernie Madoff used to set-up Ponzi schemes. Unfortunately though, or perhaps fortunately, I don't think Ira is making any money with all these ridiculous ideas of his. Anyone can set-up an internet site -- look at me, I'm Captain Tumor Man!
So, now Ira has gone from being Dressner the Destresser to Ira the Integrater. He can be reached at 1-877-6-healed (I kid you not) and at ira@brainenergyintegration.com
Dig Ira's Graphics!
Maybe this is a mid-life trend. Will Dr. Barbara Hirsch soon change from Endocrinology to Hematology?
According to Ira's web site:
In 2007 Ira became a Reiki and Karuna Reiki master practitioner and in 2008 he began the study of Huna. In 2008 the gift became larger and he was able to focus heat and vibration from his hand chakras and work with people problems affecting their thinking process. In 2008 Dressner named the process Brain Energy Integration.
The amazing thing is he did this while holding a full time job in New York's Garment Center selling fixtures to garment stores (racks, hangers, mannequins). You gotta hand it to my brother....he turned a shmata into a chakra!
My right leg is stronger than a couple of months ago and since I have not had a seizure in about 5 weeks, we are going to try to reduce my anti-seizure medicine.
My Neurologist thinks I'm probably overmedicated at this point and that the anti-seizure medication is responsible for much of my fatigue (combined with the chemotherapy).
I will take some tests to be certain that a reduction is a good idea and assuming the tests work out in my favor, I'll be as frisky as a puppy and can get drunk every so often.
Irene Dressner, my mother and the mother of Dressner the Destresser (my brother) will most probably be at New York University Hospital through the weekend.
She is having trouble breathing and the doctors are trying to figure out what is causing the problem and what can be done.
Again, my mother accepts prayers and your keeping her in your thoughts. So, think and pray away.
Despite repeated requests from Irene Dressner and Irene Dressner's immediate family, Dr. Barbara Hirsch continues to harass my ill mother. The latest escapade was Dr. Hirsch barging into my mother's hospital room at NYU despite the explicit wishes of my mother's immediate family that she stay away!
Shame on Dr. Hirsch, Mr. Dr. Hirsch the Gourmet Cook, and the entire Great Neckian population.
I've been told to restrict my wine consumption over the next week to vineyards worked by Isabelle and Jo Pithon and wines they have vinified.
